A Toast to Disasters
by sexythroatbitchohyescats
Summary: Haru's life is a never-ending disaster, but will a fated run-in with the impossibly kind, (and incredibly handsome) green-eyed boy at the university's cafeteria turn things around? Makoharu college AU.
1. A Fated Encounter

**I can't believe I started a fic based on real life events. I also can't believe that I'm using actual dialogue from an actual conversation in my actual life oh my god pinch me.**

 _ **I do not own Free! or any of the characters in it.**_

* * *

 _Shit._

 _Shit. Shit. Shit._

 _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._ "Shit."

Nanase Haruka glanced nervously around the crowded cafeteria before resuming his staring contest with the mutilated chunk of bagel currently trapped in the depths of the toaster's conveyor belt, threatening to catch fire at any moment.

It was his third disaster that day.

"Shit," he muttered again, voice barely loud enough for anyone else to hear. As crowded as the cafeteria was that particular morning, the masses of people seemed to fan out from where Haru was standing, leaving him in his own little bubble of space, as if naturally repelled by the toaster's menace. The others had instincts that evidently, Haru lacked, as they had opted for the domestic eggs and bacon instead of tangling with the wild-card, centuries-old toaster to produce some crispy bread product that turned out shitty at best. Or, in Haru's case, engulfed in flames and sending the whole building into blinding turmoil.

Haru bent over to peer deeper into the toaster's mouth, glowing orange metal smouldering white bread. The friction between the top of the bagel and the top of the toasting compartment was clearly visible, and small sparks leaped out from the contact. Haru backed away, flinching, when a larger spark flew out at him. He had been standing too close, as if the toaster was slowly pulling him in, too, and he hadn't even realized it.

"Oh, that toaster can take pretty long, huh?"

Eyes widening, Haru stole a glance to his left, gaze slipping through strands of silky black hair. He was supposed to have gotten a haircut earlier that week, as his bangs had grown obscenely long, but the length came in useful in many situations, similar to the one he was in right then. The speaker was tall- _very_ tall-and had scruffy brown hair that stood in contrast to his smart, dark, pressed suit. He was wearing rectangular glasses a shade darker than his hair, and was offering Haru a friendly smile as he snatched a banana from a fruit basket.

He gestured to the toaster and chuckled. "It'll come out eventually. There's no need to look so worried."

Haru froze, his throat suddenly constricting so tightly that it burned. _Should I…?_ He flicked his eyes back to the toaster before swishing his hair aside and facing the speaker dead-on. _I can do this._

"My bagel is… stuck."

A hot blush quickly spread over his features and he bowed his head to hide it. What was some stranger going to do about his bagel? How was that _their_ problem? When the stranger laughed again, Haru was sure he was laughing at him. Of course he looked like an idiot for getting a bagel stuck in the _fucking toaster_.

"Well, let me see if I can help you out," the stranger offered, voice sparkling and ringing in the most welcoming way. His voice soothed a bit of Haru's gnawing anxiety-something Haru had never experienced, especially from someone he didn't even know. Suddenly, the stranger's body had intercepted Haru's and the toaster, and he swiftly extracted the bagel with a pair of tongs, the bread barely even charred.

"Here you go," he chirped, snatching a plate and depositing the bagel on top. He flashed Haru another dazzling smile, to which Haru could respond with nothing but a strangled "thank you".

"My pleasure," the stranger replied, brushing a few crumbs off the pleats of his pants. "I was happy to help." With another effortless beam, the stranger was on his way out of the cafeteria and away from Haru, leaving the dark-haired man and his bagel behind. After a few moments of staring intently at the space that his knight in shining business attire had occupied seconds before, Haru darted out a finger to gauge the bread's heat.

It was barely warm.

 _Make that_ four _disasters today,_ Haru noted to himself, picking up the bagel and taking a bite. His face immediately crinkled at the dry, bland taste, and he wished it would turn into fish. He grabbed his books from the corner of the counter and took off towards his first class at a brisk pace, dropping the bagel in the trash on his way. As bad as his breakfast was, it was still better than a smoking cafeteria, so Haru didn't have much of an excuse to be irritated. Three disasters in, he was irritable at best, but one thing kept him from showing it.

That smile. That beautiful, wonderful, miraculous smile that had saved him from a fate worse than death: standing in the middle of the cafeteria, all eyes on him, bagel flaming and alarms sounding because his roommate had woken him up by drunkenly kissing him at 3 a.m., forcing him to sleep on a bench outside for the rest of the night and get shit on by a bird, and was too damn pissed off to toast his bread properly. That smile could cure cancer, for all Haru knew.

He only wished he could see it again.

* * *

Disaster number five was sitting next to Nagisa in biology.

It didn't seem like a bad idea at the time, considering Haru was late and taking the empty seat next to his one friend in the class seemed the best possible way to discretely slip into the lecture hall. However, as the professor droned on about protein synthesis, Nagisa droned on about the events of his weekend. Well, "droned" probably wasn't the best word-more like "excitedly described with hand gestures and sound effects".

"And then Rei-chan," Nagisa whispered, wiggling his eyebrows for impact, "he just let out this moan-"

"Nagisa!" Haru hissed, kicking his friend under their seats. He was already gripping his pencil so tightly that he was sure if Nagisa recounted a single other event from his torrid night of lovemaking, the utensil would snap in half. "Shut. Up."

"Aww, Haru-chan," Nagisa whined, pouting his lips and rubbing his leg where Haruka's foot had smacked it. "That's not nice…"

Haru huffed and ignored him, turning back to the lecture to take notes. He was able to copy for a few moments in peace, but soon became aware of a familiar presence leaning over his shoulder. Bracing himself for the worst, Haru spared a glance to the side. Puppy-dog eyes frowned beneath blond curls as they examined his paper.

"Haru-chaaaaan. Since when do _you_ take _notes_?"

"Since I decided to do something with my life other than my boyfriend of _two weeks_." The words came out through gritted teeth, and in the moment, Haru was immensely thankful for the massive size of the room so no one could hear them.

Nagisa giggled and playfully nudged Haru's shoulder. "Come on, Haru-chan! Like you would never kiss and tell…" Nagisa eyed him knowingly, and Haru nearly choked on his own saliva. Suppressed memories of a sloppy tongue and alcohol resurfaced in his mind, and they were nearly as unpleasant as the real thing. _Goddamn you, Nagisa…_

"So it _is_ true!" Nagisa exclaimed, satisfaction creeping over his features. A bit of darkness played in his eyes-a darkness Haru knew all too well, and feared. "I was wondering if Rin was just acting crazy…"

 _Rin?_ Make that six disasters. "Sousuke?" Haru whispered, voice curling up at the end in a nervous trill. "Sousuke told Rin?"

Nagisa nodded, looking a bit too smug for Haru's taste. "Yep! I was really surprised, especially because they're so bad at communicating with each other. I guess they pulled through this morning, though.

"It'll be an awkward lunch today for sure," he added offhandedly.

Haru gaped at his fair-haired friend, wondering how he could look so delighted at the suffering of others, and by association, himself as well. The tension after the "incident" had been great enough to drive Haru out of his own room for the night, so why was Nagisa running towards it with open arms? Haru shuddered.

"You know," Nagisa continued, "my Rei-chan would _never_ do something like that to me…" He trailed off, dissolving into a series of rambles about "Rei-chan" this and "Rei-chan" that. At that point, Haru had completely abandoned his notes, tuning out his seat-mate and lecturer both. He rested an elbow on the desk and cradled his head in his hand, sighing. A glance at the clock revealed that it was only 10:05.

He dreaded what the remaining thirteen hours and fifty-five minutes of the day held in store for him.

* * *

"You son of a bitch," Rin snarled as he grabbed the collar of his boyfriend's (Haru wasn't quite sure if that was still the case) shirt. "Are you fucking blind or something?"

The taller male yanked Rin's hand away and pressed him back. "I told you, it was dark. And you and Nanase kind of look the same under the sheets."

That was evidently the wrong thing to say, as Rin's crimson eyes burned even more intensely, as if willing Sousuke to be reduced to a pile of ashes at his feet. "Haru, come here," Rin demanded, pulling Haru up out of his seat by the wrist. Haru groaned internally at being dragged into the middle of the couple's feud, as if he weren't in deep enough already. _Disaster number eight,_ Haru counted. Seven had been showing up at lunch in the first place.

From the second all of his friends had congregated at their table in the cafeteria, heated arguments had broken out, consisting mostly of Rin calling Sousuke a slutty drunk and Sousuke deflecting the comment in one backhanded way or another. Thankfully, none of the blame for the incident had directly landed on Haru, but he was so built into the discussion that he was becoming symbolic of the incident itself. Somehow, it seemed logical to let the victim suffer for both of them, and Rin and Sousuke could care less how they affected Haru as long as they "beat" the other. Considering how competitive they both were, Haru didn't know how long their fighting would last, and he dreaded the possibility of another night spent on the quad bench.

Positioning Haru beside him, Rin exhaled and slapped his hands down by his sides. "Now, Sousuke, tell me exactly _how the hell_ you mistook Haru for me when you were looking for some drunk hookup last night."

"Rin, I swear…" Sousuke growled, jaw clenching. Despite Haru's current position, neither Rin nor Sousuke were paying him much attention, and he finally decided to quietly take his leave. He made sure to give Nagisa, who was sitting at their abandoned table, stuffing his face and laughing, a proper glaring on his way.

The cafeteria was slightly less crowded than it had been earlier that morning, much to Haru's relief, as he wove through stations and tables to pick up another piece of mackerel. He skimmed over the seating areas as he went, scouting for an empty table to eat his food in peace. Hopefully, his friends were involved enough in their bickering to notice his absence, but even if they did, Haru could barely care. It was their own fault that he was leaving in the first place.

He took his place in line at the buffet, drinking in the scent of freshly grilled fish. He gazed at it longingly, glistening beneath the warm light of the heat lamp, and his mouth watered. The promise of his favorite meal was almost enough to make him forget the disappointing breakfast from that morning.

"I guess you've given up on the toaster, then, huh?"

Haru's skin prickled as he slipped back into the routine action of turning his eyes beneath his bangs just enough to identify the speaker, despite the fact that Haru knew who the speaker was from the second he opened his mouth.

Standing beside him, tray in hand, was his tanned savior from breakfast, green eyes twinkling expectantly over the rims of his glasses. That smile was back-melting him to the bone and making him forget about drunk kissing and bird shit and fights. Haru wondered if it would become a standard happening for this stranger to save him at mealtimes, and he hoped the trend would continue. He also wondered what stroke of luck could bring the man to him twice in one day, especially considering that they had never met before.

"Yeah," he breathed, quickly bowing his head to face the heat lamps, which were surprisingly less blinding than the eyes of his… friend? acquaintance? colleague? It was rare that anyone talked to Haru once, much less _twice._ The people who had given Haru a second chance before had all ended up being close friends-sticking with him ever since they met-so it was completely understandable when Haru had no idea how to classify this newcomer.

The man laughed, and Haru marveled at how he seemed to be in such an eternally good mood. He glanced at him again, trying not to fall into a full-on stare as a clearly muscled chest undulated beneath his crisp, white button-down. Haru swallowed, wondering how his throat had managed to grow even drier.

"I hope you don't mind my asking," the man started, "but…" Haru's eyes widened when he detected a hint of nervousness in the man's voice. It seemed so out of character, but he barely knew him in the first place, so he guessed he couldn't really call things unusual. "You're Haruka, right?"

The remaining moisture left Haru's throat, leaving him speechless with a sandpaper tongue. _He knows who I am?_ That was a first. Haru had thought he had mastered the ability to slip through the shadows-keeping quiet in and out of class, never drawing attention or making himself known-but apparently, he was wrong.

"Oh," the man continued, slumping into a dejected posture for a split second before resuming his air of easy confidence. "I guess I'll take that as a yes."

Haru stared at the stranger, contemplating whether or not he really was that: a stranger. He squinted his eyes and tried to place a face to a location. He was never good with names, but places came to him a bit more easily-or maybe not. He quickly remembered that he never paid much attention to those around him if they didn't confront him directly. But maybe this person _had_ confronted him directly before... Had they spoken before that morning? Had he forgotten while the other remembered?

Haru was alerted to the sound of grilled fish being plopped on his plate, landing with a delicious "smack". He blinked and diverted his attention from the stranger, realizing just how intensely he had been staring at him for who knew how long. Apparently, he hadn't been staring long enough to make the stranger uncomfortable, as he was staring right back-eyes bright and warm, smile still fresh and not forced in the slightest. Haru shook his head and picked up his tray to head back to the empty table he had selected on his walk over.

"O-Oh, um, Haruka!" A hand clamped down on Haru's shoulder, forcing him to stop. As soon as he turned around, the stranger retracted it, as if he were touching a stove top that had suddenly heated up. _He sure has a strong grip,_ Haru noted as he rolled his shoulder back, his muscles throbbing a bit where the stranger's fingers had been.

Wondering what urgent matter demanded such contact, Haru allowed his head to tilt up, bangs cascading to the side of his face and eyebrows raising in silent question. The stranger was biting his lip, and his brow was furrowed in a way that Haru couldn't describe as anything but adorable. A hot flush crept over his face at the thought, and he quickly willed it away, thinking instead of what horrible question the man was about to ask him, constructing possible answers along his way. As frantic thoughts sped around Haru's head in a dizzying mayhem, the stranger opened his mouth to speak.

"Would you like to have lunch with me?"

* * *

 **So this was mostly an impulse write and a short inspiration break from my (and MufasasPride's) Makoharu fic, "The Flames of Heaven" that has turned into a fucking _beast._ (Also new chapter out for that one tonight... ^_^ FINALLY). So yeah... hope you enjoyed my word vomit.**

 **OH! PLEASE SEND ME ANY REQUESTS/SUGGESTIONS OF WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE ME DO WITH THIS FIC. I'm pretty much open to anything, and the plot is flexible enough that I could probably work most stuff in. I've never really written something so lax before, without months of planning and plot mapping and sweat and tears, so I'm excited to see how this turns out. Thanks!**


	2. The Bubblegum Bitch

**I am trash. I am completely aware of that. Forgive me for my sins.**

 _ **I do not by any means own Free! or any of these characters.**_

* * *

"Sorry! Um! I, uh…" The stranger dropped into a crouch and shot out a hand to pick up Haru's clattering plate, awkwardly shoving the spilled mackerel onto the plate's edge before standing up again.

Frozen, Haru stared down at him, disregarding all of the possible reactions bubbling up inside of him and instead, waited for something to snap him back into reality. He would have thought that the sight of his wasted fish on the dirty floor would have pushed him to action, but maybe the carnage was too much to take, as he simply stood numb and unresponsive, even as the other man shoved the plate into his open hands with another blurted apology. Haru gripped the plate loosely as the disaster tally in his head rose once again.

 _Disaster number 9: Dropping my food when someone asked me to lunch._

 _Disaster number 10: Wasting mackerel._

"Yeah…" the stranger said, a bit uneasily, as he rubbed the back of his neck and backed away. "I didn't mean to startle you. I guess that was a bit forward. So-" He cut himself off with a sharp inhale, and the tanned skin of his face was starting to tinge pink. "Have a nice day, Haruka." Avoiding Haru's blank stare, the man swiftly turned and swept out of the cafeteria.

 _Was he not going to get any food?_

Haru had to refrain from kicking himself as he watched the broad, suited back retreat into the main commons, and out of sight for the second time that day. He was dunked back into the present as if it were a bucket of ice water, except the present wasn't nearly as soothing. It left him startled, disoriented, and utterly, horribly, _embarrassed._ There was also a sinking feeling of regret settling in his stomach that he couldn't shake for the life of him. If only he hadn't been a massive fucking idiot and said "yes", he might have had an actually enjoyable lunch, and avoided disaster number eleven-dropping his food when someone asked him to lunch, and then making them think he wasn't interested because he was too surprised to respond.

So there Haru was, getting eyed suspiciously by the cafeteria workers as he stood, jaw slack and soiled fish in hand, standing in the center of the tiled floor, alone once again. He sighed and walked to a trashcan where he deposited the fish and tossed the plate on a conveyor belt to be cleaned. He didn't bother going back to get more food, as he had lost his appetite, and opted to leave the cafeteria altogether.

Of course, though, Haru made sure to leave through the opposite door as his could-have-been lunch date.

* * *

"The bubblegum bitch?"

Haru had managed to fall into the clutches of yet another annoying figure in his English class. As if it were even possible, Kisumi had proved even more skilled at pestering Haru during lectures than Nagisa. It was his final class of the day, but Haru wasn't sure he would make it through as long as lilac eyes peered down at him expectantly through fluffy pink locks.

Kisumi nodded, and absentmindedly (or maybe not so absentmindedly) twirled a strand of hair around his pinky. "Mmhmm. I really can't believe they've been calling me that all this time." He leaned in closer to Haru until his breath tickled Haru's ear. "Now who do you think came up with that name?" Haru cringed.

"It wasn't me," Haru hissed, training his eyes down on his paper. His hostile tone proved ineffective, however, as Kisumi quickly retaliated, snaking a hand across Haru's shoulders to drape it over his neck.

"Of course I know _that,_ " Kisumi chuckled. "But it had to be one of your friends. I mean, usually I would jump straight to Nagisa, but he doesn't seem to particularly dislike me. Rin, on the other hand…"

Haru shook Kisumi's limp arm off of his back before leaning on his notebook and pressing his fingers to his temples. The disaster count was climbing dangerously high, and Haru knew that if Kisumi continued to talk, it would ring up four or five more points at least. Every single one of Kisumi's words was getting under Haru's skin, and he hated it. Normally, Haru was good at tuning him out, but Kisumi's recent discovery of his unwelcome nickname made that nearly impossible.

"...and Rei doesn't even know me that well…"

"It was Sousuke," Haru blurted, finally silencing the grating noise of Kisumi's voice against his eardrum. Kisumi's eyes grew wide, like big, shiny, lavender soap bubbles. Haru wanted to pop them.

"Sousuke-kun?" Kisumi rested his chin in the divett between his thumb and index finger. He gave a contemplative hum. "Well I know he _definitely_ isn't my biggest fan, so I guess it makes sense. He doesn't have to give me such a mean nickname though…"

Haru gritted his teeth as he doodled on the corner of his paper. Personally, he hated English-half because it was boring and he never intended to use it, but also half because of his peach-haired classmate. Of course it hadn't been Sousuke who gave Kisumi the name. The world may very well have come to an end if the word "bubblegum" even left Sousuke's mouth. Rin, on the other hand, had a bit of a more lenient vocabulary, and the nickname _had_ been of his creation.

But it wasn't Rin who Haru wanted to lay a pastel siege to. Sousuke was the one who had ruined his night.

Just as Haru had planned, Kisumi's eyes narrowed as the wheels began to visibly turn in his head. As far as Haru knew, Kisumi was a fairly simple person, motivated by smiles and hugs, and subsequently, by petty things like revenge. If Haru had been in Kisumi's place, he wouldn't have thought twice about what others called him behind his back, but Kisumi was Kisumi, and he was upset. Haru was banking on the spiteful side to get back at Sousuke for the shit he had pulled the night before.

Unfortunately for Sousuke, most of Haru's blame for his numerous misfortunes that day was about to fall right on his plate in a pretty pink package.

"I just don't know why people don't like me," Kisumi fretted, throwing his curls back in the agony that was social ostracism. "All I do is be nice to everybody." He batted his eyelashes at Haru, who grimaced. "At least I have you, Haru-chan."

As the honey of Kisumi's words dripped onto his ears, Haru tried his best not to vomit. He bit his tongue to stunt the brutally honest retort welling up in his throat and sighed.

At least his wouldn't be the only disaster count rising that day.

* * *

Before Haru knew it, Nagisa was waking him from his afternoon nap to head to dinner. Haru had been so exhausted by the day's events, that it was all he could do to collapse in his room after class. The ringing in his head was a foul reminder of all that had gone wrong, and the only way to silence it was with sleep. Sousuke was out somewhere, so Haru could doze off peacefully knowing he wouldn't be… disturbed… again.

Well, that was until the bouncing blond showed up.

"Haru-chaaaaan," Nagisa whined, shaking Haru's shoulders and rocking his mattress. "I'm hungry."

Haru cracked open his eyes enough to glare at his fair-haired friend beneath hooded lids. He wasn't sure what time it was, but judging from the light still pouring in through his blinds, dinner could wait.

"Let me sleep," Haru hissed, pulling the covers up over his head. Nagisa shot out a hand to stop him, and succeeded in tugging them back, as Haru was too lazy to resist him.

"Sorry, Haru-chan, but I just can't let you." Nagisa huffed and crossed his arms, sticking his nose up in the air. "I promised Kisu-chan we would meet him at dinner."

 _What?_

At the new information, Haru's skin prickled and he quickly shook off the cloak of sleep. Brow furrowing, he propped himself up on his elbow and ran his fingers through his messy hair. "Since when do we eat with Kisumi?" With the exception of times that Kisumi had forced his company upon them, they had always spent mealtimes apart. Kisumi generally ate with his friends from the basketball team, and saved joining the Iwatobi group for when everyone else had left, or he was in a particularly good mood for ruining Haru's day.

 _Maybe it's Sousuke this time,_ Haru mused. _This probably has to do with the nickname..._

"Since he invited us," Nagisa explained. He held out a finger and wagged it from side to side. "Now it would be very rude of us to refuse him, wouldn't it?"

"Who cares if it's rude?" Haru muttered. _And who cares if we're all there if Kisumi thinks Sousuke's at fault?_ The ruffled, blue sheets around his legs were a painful reminder of what he would be missing if he agreed to go, and the voice of Kisumi echoing in his head from his lecture reminded him of what he was trading them up for.

"Me!" The bed rocked as Nagisa threw the whole of his bodyweight onto the mattress to pin Haru down. He shoved his unblinking, fuchsia eyes into Haru's face, making Haru reel in discomfort, and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I'll buy you that new swimsuit you wanted if you come," he coaxed.

Images of black and purple fabric, and the feel of sculpted spandex flashed through Haru's mind, but Haru dissolved the thoughts almost immediately. _Of course Nagisa would revert to bribery,_ he cursed himself. It wasn't that he fell prey to such cheap ploys as bribes so much as the fact that he probably would have been coerced into going to dinner anyways, but Haru gave a reluctant sigh of defeat and pushed Nagisa off of his chest.

"Fine," he agreed as the blond backed away, grinning from ear to ear. "I'll come if you get me the swimsuit." Nagisa gave an eager nod.

"I knew I could count on you, Haru-chan! Let's go!"

Swinging his legs over the side of his bed, Haru stood up and slid on his shoes. With a final glance back at his all-too-welcoming bed, he grabbed his keys, and followed Nagisa out the door.

…

It appeared that Nagisa had been successful in rounding up the rest of their group for dinner as well, and Haru had to wonder what he had used to bribe _them_ into coming. Rei, obviously, came because their new relationship tied him down, but Rin and Sousuke? At that point, getting them into the same room together was something of miracles, let alone in the same room as Kisumi. Judging from the permanent scowls on both of their faces, and their deafening silence, the two had moved on from heated bickering to giving up on conversation altogether. It was odd for Haru to chew over his fish without Rin's usual banter, but what was even stranger was the fact that Kisumi was _nowhere to be found._

 _Is this part of the plan?_ Haru wondered with a furtive glance to Sousuke. His steel-eyed roommate appeared stoic as always as he ate his food, so Haru guessed Kisumi hadn't gotten to him yet.

 _And since when do I even care about what Kisumi's doing anyways?_

That had to be the strangest part. Haru had never been one for giving others' activities much weight, and he definitely didn't see himself as a meddler. In fact, most of the time, he remained completely oblivious as to what was going on in his friends' lives, even if they told him. He had a habit of tuning out conversation, but for some reason, that day, his shield of solitude wasn't working, and he suddenly cared _so much._ He wanted to know where Kisumi was, he wanted to know what Sousuke was thinking, and he wanted to know when he was going to get his revenge for the kissing and the bird shit and every single other fucking trainwreck that had occurred over the course of the past fourteen hours.

Haru was pissed off, and he wanted everyone else to suffer too.

Shoveling another piece of fish into his mouth and ignoring the disgusting display of Nagisa peppering Rei's cheeks with kisses, Haru concentrated very _very_ hard on picking out one nice thing about his day. He counted down his list of notable events in chronological order: kissing, sleeping outside, burning bagel, Nagisa…

 _Burning bagel._ Haru paused in his chewing to suspend his chunk of fish on the tip of his tongue. _Burning bagel,_ he repeated in his head. But there was no burning bagel. It _didn't_ burn. The disaster had been thwarted in its consummation, all thanks to-

"Hi, guys! Sorry I'm late, I just had to pick up Makoto here."

Haru darted his eyes away from his plate for a moment to register that Kisumi had indeed joined them at the table, and that he was accompanied by a newcomer. Not caring much who it was, Haru gave a small grunt of acknowledgment before focusing back on his food.

"Ohh, Mako-chan!" Nagisa exclaimed, jumping up from his seat in order to (Haru imagined) crush his new friend in a hug. That was Nagisa-loads of enthusiasm to make up for his lack of shame. "I thought you were going to be a girl!"

"Ah, no, I'm not," came the light, airy reply, twinged with a bit of embarrassment.

Haru choked on his rice.

"Haru-chan!" Nagisa yelped, and he flitted from the newcomer's side to Haru's. Meanwhile, Haru was busy trying to chug down water in the hopes of clearing the obstruction in his throat, but his efforts were rendered ineffective, however, as Rei repeatedly slapped him across the back, sending the water spilling back into his cup. The rice, though, didn't budge, until Haru shoved Rei off of him and took a large gulp, forcing the lodged food down his esophagus. A few seconds of sputtering later, Haru took a deep breath of air and blessed his swimmer's lungs.

It was then that he realized the entire table had gone silent, and everyone was staring at him.

 _Disaster number 21._

"Are you okay-"

"I'm fine," Haru snapped, silencing the bubbling voice that had made him choke in the first place. He could feel the tips of his ears burning, and he wanted to disappear.

 _Why is he here? What's he doing with Kisumi? Why does he have to be so_ nice _?_

The silence thickened, and the wide, concerned eyes of his friends weren't looking away, save for Rin's which were trained down on his plate as he stifled his laughter. As much as he hated it, Haru couldn't blame Rin, because if their roles had been reversed, he could imagine that watching his rival slip up so badly would have been incredibly satisfying.

But just when Haru thought it would never end, the unbearable tension snapped with a loud, "pop".

"Sousuke-kunnnn."

"What the-"

As quickly as the eyes had fixated on Haru, they fixated on a new scene-one more intriguing and… disturbing… in nature. There he was-the bubblegum bitch-living up to his name in more ways than one.

Somehow, and Haru couldn't imagine how he did it, as even _Nagisa_ had a difficult time making it past Sousuke, Kisumi had managed to loop his arms around Sousuke's neck so his mouth was poised right next to Sousuke's ear, blowing out the formings of a big, pink bubble between his lips. Sousuke's face was twitching, probably from trying to compose himself enough to not punch Kisumi square in the face, and he gritted his teeth as venomous words slipped out.

"What the _hell_ are you-"

"Shhhhhhhhhh," Kisumi hushed, chewing on the remains of a freshly popped bubble. He drew his index finger to Sousuke's lips, and Haru wondered if he was trying to get bitten.

 _This is it,_ Haru thought, spirits lifting after his fumble. _It's Sousuke's turn to be molested by somebody he hates._

Rin, who, up until then, had been watching in abject horror, regained some sense and grabbed Kisumi's shoulders in an attempt to pry him off Sousuke.

"Get the fuck off of him!" he demanded. Kisumi simply coiled his arms tighter around Sousuke's body and tilted his head back to blow another bubble right in Rin's face. Rin gaped, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "And would you mind keeping that shit in your mouth?"

The bubble popped and Kisumi flashed a devious smile.

"I'm sorry, Rin, but didn't you hear?" He turned back to Sousuke and leaned even closer than before, lowering his voice to a sensual whisper. "I'm the bubblegum bitch now."

Understanding dawned over Rin's face before shifting to confusion, and Sousuke's knuckles were turning white from gripping his silverware so tightly. Haru's eyes lingered on the hand holding the knife, and how Sousuke seemed to be at war with himself, fighting between using the cutlery to impale Kisumi, or to impale himself.

"Sousuke-kun," Kisumi cooed, "you really shouldn't give people nicknames and not expect them to live up to them." Lifting one of his arms from around Sousuke's neck, Kisumi twirled a finger through Sousuke's short, dark hair and sighed. "I really wanted to believe you were a nice person, but I guess you aren't." He lazily dropped his hand to his side, and straightened up, relieving Sousuke at last. Haru frowned, a bit disappointed that the torture hadn't lasted longer, but judging from the pained expression on Sousuke's face, it had lasted long enough.

 _Victory number one,_ Haru noted to himself.

Approaching Rin, who was still staring quizzically at the space that Kisumi had previously occupied, the peach-haired boy extended a hand and placed it on Rin's shoulder.

"And thank you, Rin," he said, smiling sweetly, "for proving me wrong. I always thought you were the mean one." In one, swift motion, Kisumi swooped in and planted a kiss on Rin's cheek, and every member of the dinner party took in a collective gasp. Haru couldn't help but feel satisfied as he tucked a second, unexpected victory under his belt. Kisumi smirked.

"See you guys later!" he piped with a cheery wave, voice dripping with smugness. He started heading for the cafeteria exit, but seemed to remember something and spun back around. "Oh, and Nagisa, you're still good for showing Makoto around campus tonight?"

Nagisa, who had been watching the procession of the dinner's events like a theater-goer minus the popcorn, gave a thumbs up and nodded. "You bet! Mako-chan and I are going to have so much fun!"

The tall, brown-haired boy laughed nervously, probably still taken aback by the casual use of honorifics and the situation in general.

"Great!" Kisumi replied. "Then goodbye for now!" With another wave, he sashayed out of the room, leaving the carnage in his wake.

"Well," Nagisa said once Kisumi was out of earshot, "I wasn't expecting Kisu-chan to do _that_ when he invited me to pick up Mako-chan for dinner."

Rin, who's face by then was as red as his hair, slid back into his seat at Sousuke's side. Latching onto the collar of Sousuke's shirt, Rin violently tugged him forwards and bared his teeth.

"Now why the _fuck_ would you tell Kisumi his nickname?"

With steady hands, Sousuke wrapped his fingers around Rin's wrists and easily pried him off. Unlike dealing with Kisumi, fighting with Rin came as no shock to him, and he could handle himself accordingly.

"You know, Rin," he growled, "it might be a good idea to use that nonexistent brain of yours to think before you speak."

"Oh really?" Rin challenged. "And what about using yours to think before you make out with _random guys under the covers?_ "

Sousuke's eyes widened. "Are we seriously back to this?"

"Yes!" At that point, Rin's speaking was bordering on yelling, and when Rei started to raise a hand to tell him to quiet down, Nagisa stopped him, not wanting any interference. "And don't think I didn't notice you barely budged when Pretty Boy had his mitts all over you."

That jab certainly hit home with Sousuke, and he rose from his seat to loom over Rin. "So you'd rather I'd ripped his arms off and gotten us all kicked out of dinner?"

" _That's_ what you were worried about? Getting kicked out of the fucking _cafeteria?_ " Rin asked as he shot up to meet him. The two stared at each other, locked in a torrent of fire and ice, neither wanting to be the first to budge. When Sousuke didn't retort, Nagisa started laughing.

"Relax, relax, Rin-chan, Sou-chan. We have a guest!"

All but forgotten, the boy, Makoto, gave a sheepish grin and looked around the table of strangers, clearly overwhelmed by the evening's drama. When he got to Haru's familiar face, he brightened a bit, but Haru averted his gaze. He couldn't handle the sinking, fluttering sensation those eyes wrought on his stomach while he was busy eating, especially not after the choking fiasco earlier.

"So, Mako-chan," Nagisa continued, despite Rin's and Sousuke's refusal to acknowledge his request. "You're a transfer student from Tokyo? That's so cool."

Makoto laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, no, I'm actually just here for a semester. I'm studying veterinary medicine, and the professor I'm working with moved to Iwatobi with a research grant, so I came too."

Haru poked at the remains of his mackerel, which had long since grown cold, and pondered Makoto's story. _So that's why I've never seen him before…_ And veterinary medicine. That was… sweet. Haru smiled in spite of himself, and almost smacked himself in the face when he realized his internal thoughts had manifested on his features.

"Ooh! You want to be a vet?" Nagisa piped. "I want to be a zookeeper and run the rockhopper penguin exhibit!"

"Of all the animals…" Rei muttered to himself, shaking his head in what appeared to be very real agony. "They are not beautiful…"

"You should be a penguin vet!" Nagisa suggested to Makoto, clapping his hands. "Oh! And Haru's studying marine biology, so maybe we could all work at an aquarium together!"

At the mention of his name and major, Haru's skin prickled. He shot Nagisa an irritated glare, begging him to stop. Seeming to sense Haru's irritation-and Haru had no idea how, as he had been very careful with using his hair as a shield to hide his true expression beneath-Makoto chuckled and shook his head.

"I'm actually more interested in treating cats, but penguins are nice too. That sounds like a really fun job. And Haruka, right? You're studying marine biology? That must be interesting."

Haru looked up through his curtain of black to meet expectant eyes. _Maybe his senses are off after all,_ he thought, as otherwise, Makoto would have known not to talk to him directly. But… something about those eyes… They made the conversation flow easily.

"Yeah I-"

"Haruka?" Nagisa gasped, slapping his hands down on the table and shoving his face into Makoto's. "Do you know Haru-chan already?"

"Well, um," Makoto swallowed, leaning backwards to get some space. "Actually, we ran into each other a couple times earlier today, but we weren't officially introduced, really. Kisumi gave me Haruka's name after I ran into him the first time." Turning to Haru, he gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that, by the way. It must have been strange for you-my knowing your name and all. But we're having a meal together now, huh?"

"Call me Haru," was all Haru could muster under that ice-melting gaze. Makoto laughed.

"So what have you been doing hanging out with Kisu-chan all day?" Nagisa asked.

"Oh, well, today's my first day here, and Kisumi offered to show me around," Makoto explained. "But I guess he kind of dropped me on you guys, now. Sorry about that…"

"Don't be sorry!" Nagisa exclaimed. "Rei-chan knows all the best places to study, and Rin can show you the pool, and I know where all the coolest hangouts are and Haru, uh…"

"I spend as much time at the pool as Rin does," Haru snapped, suddenly defensive about Nagisa making him out to be useless. "And Rin left with Sousuke, anyways."

"Eh?"

"Yes," Rei concurred, adjusting his red-framed glasses. "While you were busy talking about penguins, I told them that if they wanted to argue, they needed to do it outside. I don't think we'll be expecting them back anytime soon."

"Oh well," Nagisa sighed, woefully eyeing the floor before brightening back up to his usual demeanor. "Anyways, Mako-chan, if you want to get the full campus experience, we'd better get going! We have a lot to fit in before nine!"

"What's at nine?" Haru had the mind to ask. From the mischievous glint in those magenta eyes, Haru knew Nagisa couldn't be up to anything good. Before he even opened his mouth, Haru had a feeling he knew exactly what he was going to say.

 _And there it is-a minefield of everything that could possibly end badly._

With a wink and a flip of his honeyed locks, Nagisa stood up from the table.

"A party, of course!"

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Hello, I am sexythroatbitchohyescats, and I am the most unoriginal college AU writer in the world, I know, I'm aware (wow, I'm aware of a lot of things today, aren't I?).**

 **BUT WHO CAN RESIST A PARTY? DRUNK NAGISA? DRUNK REI? SOURIN DRAMA? MAKOHARU RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT?**

 **No, me neither.**

 **So yes, I wasn't really even sure if I would pick this fic back up again, as inspiration struck me in _so many other ways it's crazy the amount of Makoharu I'm writing right now like it's coming out of my ears._ But I did, and now I have inspiration for _this_ and honestly, writing what's practically college AU crack is the most therapeutic thing when the rest of your fics are _draining you emotionally and killing you slowly_. (heh, spoilers). **

**I also apologize because I've barely gotten Makoto and Haru alone for two minutes in two chapters, but IT IS COMING. I promise, they're my OTP, and the things I have planned for this story... -squeals- SOON,** **my friends.**

 ***Also, of the works that are currently taxing me physically and emotionally, The Flames of Heaven (collab with other trash Free! writer MufasasPride) already has 7 chapters up, so you should check it outttttttttttttttttttt. And if you're looking for more utter crack like this, MufasasPride has some LOVELY SouRin and Makoharu fics like this up (wow this is so promotional like if you're reading this I seriously commend you for not throwing holy water at your screen) and they're worth your time. Heh... -runs away and hides in a bush to repent for soiling this earth with my mere existence- byeeeeeee.**


	3. Run Away with Me

**It's been two months. Please forgive me. But here is your Makoharu fluff as promised, however late.**

* * *

Run Away with Me

Nagisa had decided, finally, that Haru was worthy enough to give their guest a tour of the pool. Apparently, Makoto swam too, and Haru filed that information away under "things that make me forget I have a horrible night ahead of me", next to Makoto's smile and perpetual kindness.

The party of four had finally reached the pool after traipsing through hallway after hallway in the various science buildings (Rei's section of the tour), and Nagisa had had enough.

"Rei-channnnn," he whined, pushing open the glass door of the fitness complex, letting in a rush of chlorine. "Science is no fun! Mako-chan came with us because he trusted that we would show him the glories of our campus!"

"You don't consider science to be a glory of our campus?" Rei gasped, looking personally offended. "Nagisa-kun, without science, there would be no campus."

"Oh, Rei-chan, you're so pretty, but you can be so slow."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

Oblivious to the chatter of his friends, Haru stood rigid in the doorway to the pool, inhaling the tantalizing scent of his beloved water. He closed his eyes and sighed. The smell and simple presence of the water was unbelievably comforting, and he wondered why he hadn't booked it to the pool any earlier that day. He should've skipped his classes-it wasn't like he accomplished anything in them anyways, thanks to Kisumi and Nagisa's determination to get on his every last nerve. Instead of growing agitated at the hands of his friends, Haru could have been soaking in his solitary oasis, having his troubles melt away with the touch of the water.

As soon as he stepped through the metal threshold and onto the tiled squares of the pool room's floor, Haru forgot about his present reality. No longer was he at the pool to give a tour-he was there to sink into its silky depths and never leave. The list of "things that make me forget I have a horrible night ahead of me" was tossed aside, replaced with the list of "things I will be doing for the rest of today and forever", under which there was a single item listed: swimming. Makoto? Who was that? Sousuke? Didn't exist. Water? It was the world.

Slowly, Haru began approaching pool's edge, blinders on and zeroed in on his singular, pressing goal. Chlorine, it beckoned him. It was utterly enchanting, promising everything good and freedom from his living hell of a day. Haru needed more-he needed to be _in_ it, _surrounded_ by it.

His fingers, nimble from years of practice, walked up the hem of his shirt to the vertical column of buttons, poised to start undoing them. One hand reached up to the collar of his shirt, tugging it away from his skin to give him some form of temporary relief. Then, he clutched the pressed fabric in his hands and pulled and…

 _Huh?_

The scent of chlorine was suddenly muddled, and Haru found himself slipping out of his trance. He took another sniff, wondering if it had simply grown fainter with a draft of air or poor circulation but… No, it was a new smell. Or, smells, rather. Laundry detergent, something grassy, and… mint? And sounds… Why were Rei and Nagisa being so loud? Had they been arguing the whole time? And why was his shoulder suddenly heavy?

"...okay? Haru...chan?"

Haru jerked his head up from its downcast position, a hand flying to his shoulder to assess the added pressure. It took him a moment to register, but he quickly realized that the voice he had heard was Makoto's, and so were the rough, long-boned fingers beneath his own.

"Chan," Makoto said with more resolution. "Haru-chan."

 _What?_

Taking in another whiff of fresh spearmint, Haru twisted to face Makoto. His all-too-kind crinkled eyes looked unnatural as they glared Haru down through his brown-framed glasses. Scruffy hair tumbled down his nose and he quirked his lips to blow it out of his face. Haru almost smiled-the stern look didn't fit him.

"You were really close to the water," Makoto scolded, compelled by Haru's strange expression to explain, "and you seemed like you were in some kind of a trance. I didn't want you to fall in."

 _Oh. That's what he's doing._

"Um, Haru-chan?"

 _Chan?_ Haru crinkled up his face, and although he didn't know why someone who was essentially a complete stranger was calling him by the name Nagisa tended to torture him with, he knew it needed to stop.

"Don't call me that," he snapped, shooting poison darts with his eyes and trying not to notice how they melted beneath Makoto's emerald gaze. Despite himself, Haru clenched his jaw, determined to see the glare through to the end.

"O-Oh, sorry," Makoto stuttered. He bit his lip and looked as though he wanted to step away, but something was holding there. After a closer assessment and a stab to Haru's pride, Haru realized it was his own hand that was keeping Makoto locked in place.

"Uh, um…" Makoto glanced nervously at their hands and then back at Haru, whose sight was still trained on his pale, slender fingers wrapped around Makoto's tanner, larger hand. Haru shifted his grip slightly, brushing his fingertips over the light calluses that fringed the edges of Makoto's palm. He imagined the hand cutting through the pool water, and Haru had the sudden urge to strip again.

"Hazuki-kun told me to call you that because it would get your attention, since you weren't really responding to anything," Makoto continued. Pausing, Haru furrowed his brow. _Why didn't Nagisa just come get me himself? And why didn't he just tell Makoto I wasn't going to fall in?_

"Haru-chan!" Nagisa hollered from the pool doorway. He had an arm slung over Rei's shoulders, who appeared to have sorely lost their futile argument, as per usual. "Come on, we've seen enough of the pool, and Rei-chan agreed that it's time we show Mako-chan a good time." He pulled his boyfriend closer and nuzzled his cheek. "Isn't that right, Daddy?"

Haru suppressed the urge to vomit as crimson bled all over Rei's face, and Makoto shifted uneasily at his side. A low hiss escaped his mouth. _I'm missing swimming for this._

"N-Nagisa-kun," Rei stammered, "I told you not to call me that in public."

 _Disaster number 26._

"No, no," Nagisa shushed, pressing his index finger to Rei's gaping mouth, "I agreed not to call you _Mommy."_

 _Disaster number 27._

"Um."

Upon Makoto's small vocalization, Nagisa and Rei miraculously paused in what was bound to turn into another fight, and stared at their guest with wide eyes. After a moment, Nagisa shrugged and giggled.

"Ah, Mako-chan, we're not being very good hosts! So sorry about that." He was apologizing, but the demonic twinkle in his eyes suggested he didn't feel bad at all. "But…" He bit his lip and looked at Rei and then back at Makoto, calculating all the way. Eventually, his eyes rested on Haru, whose stomach turned. Haru marked whatever was about to happen as his 28th disaster of the day, despite not knowing what it was. Anything involving a plotting Nagisa was bound to be bad.

But plotting what, exactly?

"Haru-chan, something has just come up in my very busy schedule, and I'm going to need you to show Mako-chan around without me. And Rei's busy now, too."

"Huh?" Makoto and Rei voiced simultaneously. Haru merely restrained from placing his head in his hands.

"Since when are you a master of my schedule?" Rei asked, sounding deeply offended by the assumption. "I will let you know that the only person with access to my personal planner is me, and my next daily event doesn't occur until I take a shower at 11 p.m.."

Nagisa smirked and seductively wrapped his fingers around the temples of Rei's glasses, easing them off as he shimmied in closer. "But you're forgetting, Rei-chan. On my schedule, it says you take a shower now. With me."

 _28._

"Nagi-!"

"Shhhhhhh. We can put the children to bed first so they won't know."

 _29._

To that, Rei looked more confused than embarrassed. "What in God's name has gotten into you?" he asked. Nagisa lowered his voice to a whisper.

"It's not what's gotten into me, Rei-chan," he cooed. "It's more what's about to get into _you_." He winked, and Haru was certain Rei was about to melt into a puddle of shame on the floor.

 _30._

The other person Haru was certain was on the brink of dying from discomfort was Makoto, who seemed to be clinging onto his every ounce of strength to not flee the room. He shot Haru a desperate glance, and it was Haru's turn to save him, much in the fashion that he had saved Haru from the toaster that morning, though in this case, Makoto had already burst into flames.

"Nagisa! Rei!" Haru finally barked, forcing their flirting to a halt. Rei let out a sigh of relief, but Nagisa simply looked disappointed. "Shut up."

"Haru-chan is so mean," Nagisa whined, sticking out his bottom lip. "But you'll show Mako-chan around so Rei and I can go get dirty, right?"

"Nagisa-kun! I'm fairly certain the purpose of taking a shower is cleaning off!"

"Fine," Haru submitted, not caring much to stick around with the couple any longer than he had to, even if it meant having to be relatively amiable and talkative for an hour or so. Considering what he knew of Makoto so far, it couldn't be that bad, and Haru took his horrified reaction to his friends' antics as a promising sign of his sanity. He turned his chin back over his shoulder and swallowed, summoning a softer tone to address Makoto without facing him directly. "Follow me."

"Thanks, Haru-chan!" Nagisa chirped as they exited through the door to the lobby-something Haru never thought he would do without even so much as coming in contact with the water. But desperate times called for desperate measures, he supposed. "We'll see you at the party, okay?"

 _Party. Right._ Haru didn't bother hiding behind his hair as he rolled his eyes. There was no reason for him to have to go to a party if the fate of the campus tour was in his own hands. Maybe he and Makoto could just go swimming instead…

"Yeah, definitely!" chimed Makoto, having regained the ability to articulate his thoughts. Haru almost wished he had remained speechless. _Dammit,_ he cursed, plans thwarted once again.

"Okay, well have fun!" Nagisa waved them off. "And don't forget to-"

Haru ushered Makoto out the glass door and slammed it behind him, cutting off Nagisa mid-sentence. He sighed, taking in the peace and quiet, freed from the clutches of blond Satan. Why did he hang out with Nagisa in the first place? More times than not, when they interacted, he ended up just longing to be alone again.

"Well, your friends are certainly… flamboyant."

Haru's eyebrows arched, intrigued by Makoto's voice for a moment before bearing down and furrowing when he caught a glimpse of the smile twisting Makoto's cheeks in a fond reverie. Makoto chuckled to himself, and Haru gaped. How was he… amused? After that? After he had been outwardly cringing just moments before? Escaping from the building dry was astonishing enough, but then…

"They're nice. I like them."

 _There's something wrong with him,_ Haru concluded, gaping more openly because he honestly couldn't manage a tamer reaction.

"I've certainly never met people like them before," he continued, tapping a finger to his chin as they exited the fitness complex to step out into the brisk, outside, evening air. Makoto didn't miss a beat, making sure to wave at the receptionist on his way out-a nicety Haru rarely remembered or carried out. Haru couldn't help but notice the young girl (she must have been getting in some service hours) swoon a bit as she met the receiving end of the dazzling emerald gaze, and he couldn't blame her, although it did irritate him a bit. _Does he really find it necessary to do that to everybody he meets?_ Haru wondered, eyebrows pinching together even more. He shook his head.

"Kisumi _did_ say they were a bit eccentric… but those _shower_ comments…"

Blinking, Haru snapped back into the conversation that was apparently still ongoing, despite his failure to contribute a single word to it. It confused him-how Makoto was still talking-talking to _him_ -when it was all clearly one-sided. Nagisa would have strapped himself onto Haru's chest koala-style by then, Rei's speech would have been peppered with desperate "Haruka-senpai"s every other word, and Rin probably would have just slapped him. He and Sousuke didn't talk much in the first place, so no effort would have been made on that front.

"I do have to admit they were very entertaining, though I am a bit worried as to how they'll be at the party tonight. Considering there might be alcohol, right?"

Upon asking his question, Makoto paused for a moment, inviting Haru to speak. Haru figured that the magical "talking-to-self-and-pretending-others-are-contributing" streak had finally run out, and that he actually couldn't answer his words himself. Flicking his eyes along the red brick of the pathway to the quad, Haru sighed.

"Everybody will be drunk," he affirmed, voice flat. Seriously, had Makoto never been to a college party before? Haru was hardly the avid party-goer, but he had been dragged along with his friends enough times to be familiar with the atmosphere. He wasn't sure if he should tell Makoto about the explicit grinding or recreational drug use then, or wait for him to see for himself later.

"O-Oh, okay," Makoto responded, sounding a bit less enthusiastic about attending than he had earlier. "Well, they probably know how to pace themselves, so I doubt we have to worry."

Okay, the bandaid definitely needed ripping off. In four, simple words, Haru conveyed all Makoto needed to know.

"Nagisa will molest you."

"Eh?!" Makoto's eyes flew wide with shock. "...molest?" he echoed.

Haru nodded. His statement had definitely done the trick. Eyes saucers and face flushed, Makoto looked like the last person who would be diving into the said activity of Nagisa-instituted molestation. Surely he wouldn't find some way to justify attendance knowing _that._ His tolerance couldn't be that high.

"And…" Makoto bit his lip-an action that drew far more of Haru's attention than it should have-and spoke his next words in a tiptoe of a sentence. "You know this from experience?"

 _Firsthand, secondhand, third…?_ It was all the same. Eyelids sagging, Haru allowed the exasperation to flow full force through his face, and Makoto seemed to get the message, as he coughed and nodded.

"Ah, I see." Shoving his hands into his suit pockets, he tilted his head up towards the sky and sighed, a bit of the beet-red color draining from his face. Haru-eyes still flooded with the image of _the lip bite_ -let his gaze trace the flyaway strands of chestnut hair that fluttered in the light breeze and studied the way the setting sun reflected off the lenses of Makoto's glasses and lit up his profile in a golden halo. Thankfully, Makoto was enthralled enough with the fluffy white clouds above them to notice. Haru idly wondered what would happen if a wall materialized in front of them, or a step or tree root at their feet, with Makoto watching the sky and Haru watching him. They would surely fall.

"I think I can handle it, though," Makoto suddenly affirmed, breaking the silence, and Haru had to blink and shake his head before he remembered they were having a conversation. _Right._

"Hazuki may be a bit more extreme, but I'm used to the clinginess," he continued. "I have twin younger siblings, and a lot of people say little kids act kind of drunk, right? Sometimes, when I would get home from school in high school, they would latch onto my legs on the front steps of the house, and I had to explain to them that I would never be truly 'home' until I was inside, and that I couldn't play with them until I put my bags down, which I couldn't do on the porch. They were always so excited to see me, and that was probably one of the hardest parts of going away to university. I kept waking up in the morning without the twins jumping on my bed and-"

The steady flow of speech was interrupted when Makoto abruptly stopped, catching his tongue and peering at Haru out of the corner of his eye. Lulled by the melodic voice and no-pressure, almost unsettlingly natural one-sided dialogue, Haru was shocked when an awkward silence fell. He quickly tried to pinpoint the cause of conversation-death. Had Makoto noticed he wasn't listeni-no. He _was_ listening. And Makoto _was_ talking. Was the listening the problem? Did he need to say something? Had Makoto been _waiting_ for him? In an instant, the pressure was on, and Haru was floundering in the depths of social hell. Disaster alarms were going off, and the count was on the rise. _Of course he was expecting me to talk,_ Haru berated himself as he tallied thirty-one. _He was just talking to make up for me._

"I'm sorry," they both said in unison. And then stared at the other in unison, baffled as to why he had apologized as well.

"Why are you…?"

"I don't-"

Haru caught his tongue before more words could spill out and he could dig himself an even deeper hole. He would just let Makoto explain first, as he seemed ready to, and if Haru were left to explain, he would probably fuck it up, as he wasn't sure what was going on in the first place. To him, the situation had been crystal clear; that was, until Makoto had _apologized._

"I, um, well," Makoto started, and the lip bite was back. "I don't exactly know what you're apologizing for…" _Okay, we're in the same boat._ "But as for me, I just… Sorry for jumping into my life story like that. We hardly know each other, and I know I can talk a lot, but you're just really easy to talk to and I got carried away. You probably didn't want to hear all of that about my family and stuff, and it was completely off topic. We were talking about Nagisa and the party, right? Yeah, the clinginess…"

"It's fine." This time, Haru had to cut Makoto off, as although he hadn't found his incessant speech irritating before, it was definitely getting on his nerves as apology after explanation after circling back to the unwelcome topic of the party fell from his perfectly sculpted mouth. "I don't mind."

"Really?" Makoto gaped, evidently dumbfounded by the statement. "You don't?"

"I actually prefer it," Haru encouraged, though he wasn't quite sure what he was saying or why he was saying it. "I prefer listening."

"Oh." Makoto appeared dumbfounded, as if he had never encountered someone who wasn't into all that _talking_ stuff before. "I guess that works out well then. Also, uh, what dorm do you live in?"

Slowing to a standstill upon the question, Haru gradually became more aware of his surroundings, and more aware of the fact that he was in a part of campus he rarely frequented. It didn't feel like they had been walking for long, so Haru guessed that they weren't too far away from his dorm, which was about a ten minute walk from the fitness center, but what did he know? He had just been walking, following Makoto, and the pale grey walls of the campus apartments were disregarded afterthoughts.

"I just kind of headed back to my apartment because I figured you would head off for your dorm, unless there's a different route you take that goes through here?"

Makoto was clearly prompting, trying to shift the focus of the interaction off of Haru's blatant obliviousness with regards to direction, and he was staring down at his feet. Deep in Haru's mind, walls were crashing down and burning as his thoughts rushed to collect themselves. _It looks like I was inviting myself to his apartment. Of course he feels awkward turning me away. I should just leave._

On his last thought, Haru swallowed and turned on his heel, blurting a small "sorry" that definitely didn't sound like a "sorry" at all. For the third time that day, a firm hand caught Haru by the shoulder, and Haru stumbled as he skidded to a stop. Reluctantly, Haru turned his head and lifted his eyes beneath the safety of his bangs. He was poised like a wild animal, ready to spring and run for freedom at the slightest sign of danger.

"I can walk you back to your dorm, if you'd like," Makoto offered with a tentative smile. However small, it worked like magic, and Haru felt himself relaxing, incredulous. "Or, rather, you would walk me back to your dorm, because I have no idea where it is."

Makoto chuckled nervously, scoffing at his honest admittance, and Haru wheezed a bit in return. Haru felt a bit ridiculous-spurred to action by a single hesitation. He was still suspicious of course, and almost 100% certain that Makoto's offer stemmed solely from a sense of obligation, but… maybe that wasn't the worst thing. Although he had caused his own share of disasters over the course of the day, he had actually prevented more. It was strange, thinking about it like that.

 _How?_

"Unless you don't want me to."

"Hmm?"

"Or…?"

Fumbling to remember what Makoto had just said, Haru gaped and shook his head. The shaking sped up once Haru caught a full grasp of the statement.

"N-n-n-no," he stuttered. "It-it's fine. I want you to. Yes."

Makoto's nose screwed up adorably as he smirked, and Haru mentally kicked himself again for noticing or even _associating something on this hell forsaken earth_ with the word "adorable", and his green eyes twinkled with amusement.

"Okay, then. Lead the way."

* * *

The walk from Makoto's apartment to Haru's dorm took approximately sixteen minutes, and Haru quickly figured out that the pathway he thought would lead him back to the quad wasn't the _only_ red brick pathway on campus, and also, he really needed to pay more attention. This was becoming an issue.

Along their way, Haru pointed out various features of the campus, making little effort to spice up his disinterested monotone when addressing the mail center or campus convenience store (it was already work enough to point them out in the first place). Makoto would nod thoughtfully or ask a question about hours or services at each one, to which most of the time, Haru's responses spanned from "I don't know" to "You dry-clean your shirts?" Once all concerns were addressed, Makoto would offer a routine "thank you, that's useful to know", and they would be headed on their way.

Haru's dorm, Dorm Five, was the last in a row of three-story, light brick structures that bordered the campus' main quad. Dorms one through three housed girls, and dorms four and five housed boys. In the grassy rectangle in front of them was a host of Japanese maples and a little koi pond. Along the walkway that stretched across the lawn area were wooden benches that Haru now regarded with a scowl, seeing as all he could do was relive the misery and back pain they had brought him the night before.

"So this is where the freshman live?" Makoto asked as they walked up the steps to Dorm Five. He glanced up at the weathered brick and tacky window units, long out of use since the beginning of autumn. "They look nice."

"They're not," Haru deadpanned, pulling out his building key. "And it's sophomores," he corrected. "And some upperclassmen as well."

"Oh," Makoto caught himself, shuffling his feet. "I just assumed because Hazu-"

"It's fine." Jamming his key into the finicky keyhole, Haru twisted and pulled the door open. He stood back to allow Makoto to step inside, and then followed him into the empty stairwell.

"So, um, this is where I live," Haru narrated, slipping back into tourguide mode. Honestly, for however shitty of a job he was doing with the whole thing, Nagisa owed him big time. "I live on the second floor. Rei lives next door to me, Nagisa lives on the first floor, Sousuke's my roommate, and Rin and Kisumi live in Dorm Four." Upon completing his sentence, Haru frowned, not sure of what else to say. The dorm wasn't particularly interesting; it was just where you went to sleep and put all of your things. "It's where I sleep and put all of my things."

"Rei, Sousuke, Rin…" Makoto trailed off, appearing to be deep in concentration as he tried to place names with faces. Haru, however, was sucked back into a trance of cursing at himself in disgusted bafflement. _What the fuck? Why did I say that? "It's where I sleep and put all my things." Seriously, Haru, what the fuck is wrong with you?_

"...fighting?" Makoto's voice summoned Haru from his state of berating and wallowing, and Haru flipped back his bangs in an attempt to seem unfazed by the sentence Makoto probably hadn't even heard.

"What?" he asked, feeling slightly bad for making Makoto repeat himself yet again because he kept zoning out.

"Were… Rin and Sousuke… um, the ones who were fighting? At dinner?"

Makoto coughed and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose before proceeding to fiddle with the knot of his tie. The discomfort was tangible, and Haru realized there was something more important than the question itself that he needed to address.

"You don't have to call them by their surnames," Haru said. The constant mention of "Hazuki" was starting to get on his nerves. "You called me 'Haru-chan' and you call Kisumi by his first name, so I don't see why you shouldn't do the same with the others." _Especially because they don't have manners of their own,_ Haru thought.

"Oh! Um." Makoto's ears were turning a painful shade of pink, and he clasped his hands behind his back which only contributed to his look of unadulterated shame. Haru didn't understand-shouldn't he be relieved? "Sorry about that-about earlier-when I called you-"

"Don't say it," Haru snapped, a bit more viciously than was called for.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Makoto threw up his hands. After a drawn-out moment, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, he refocused on Haru, his ears still flaming, but the color gradually dimming in intensity. "I'll call them by their first names then, if you're sure it's okay."

Haru almost snorted. Nagisa would have a fit if he knew Makoto was referring to him by surname. "They would prefer it."

"Okay, that's great then!" Makoto enthused. "Now I won't have to worry about tripping up when I see everybody again. I keep having to think back on surnames when you use all first names. So, Rin and Sousuke _were_ the ones who were fighting, correct?"

"Yeah, they're assholes," Haru affirmed, blurting out the last part on accident. Yet, instead of falling into an awkward silence at the statement, Makoto laughed.

"I don't know them well enough to say that," he conceded, "but they both certainly seemed a bit hot-headed." He sighed and looked at Haru imploringly. "Relationship problems?"

Haru grimaced. "More like eyesight problems and too much alcohol." At the mention of alcohol, Haru all but groaned. _Right, the party. I should run to the fitness center while there's still time._

Chuckling again, Makoto tapped a finger to his chin. "I guess they weren't the only two who fell victim to alcohol and bad prescriptions?"

"No…" Crossing his arms as the ice of the previous night crept back over him, Haru flicked his gaze up to Makoto's bemused expression. Now, his features and voice seemed to be bubbling with considerable ease-reflecting the first version of Makoto Haru had come in contact with that morning. Calm, relaxed, and happy-not a nervous wreck hung up on pretenses and niceties. Makoto, in turn, lowered his eyes to meet Haru's, and they softened into a friendly concern.

"Did something happen?" he asked.

Haru shook his head, deciding it wasn't worth the trouble to explain, and he didn't feel like catapulting Makoto back into a state of discomfort.

"No, they're just irritating."

"Hmm." Makoto clearly wasn't buying it, but he wasn't pressing anymore either, and Haru could practically see him filing away the subject for later review. Huffing, he cast his face to the floor, only to jolt it right back up when footsteps came thudding down the stairs above him.

Rounding the corner in a flurry of brightly-dyed feathers overflowing in their arms were none other than Rei and Nagisa, as if fleeing from some horrible beast. Rei's face bore an expression of explicit horror, and Nagisa's, of pure delight.

"Hi, Haru-chan! Hi, Mako-chan!" Nagisa greeted when he drew close enough to see over the top of the pile of feather boas that threatened to fall to the floor at any moment. Rei was visibly panting, despite running track, and Nagisa wasn't slowing down for anything. He pushed right past his friends and kicked open the door to the outside, Rei wearily following. "See you at the party!" he yelled before darting away into the dusk. Rei, however, stopped to catch his breath. He gave Haru an exasperated look.

"Please show up to the party this time, Haruka-senpai," he said, and then turned to Makoto. "Don't let him escape to the pool. He will try. Nagisa-kun would be heartbroken if he didn't show up for this, and we would have purchased blue boas for nothing."

With a gesture to the royal blue feathers at the top of his stack, Rei sighed, and continued to exit through the door Nagisa had disappeared through moments before. At the last second, he poked his head back around the doorframe.

"Also, I would recommend following Nagisa's lead and clearing the premises. He has irritated your roommate immensely, Haru."

A quick adjustment of his red-framed glasses later, Rei was gone, leaving Makoto and Haru alone with an impending sense of doom hanging over Haru's head. _Why did he have to mess with Sousuke?_

"That was a bit cryptic," Makoto commented, staring at the door as it clicked shut. Haru couldn't bring himself to nod-he was too busy waiting for the storm that was an even more enraged Sousuke to hit. _Why me? Why today?_ Right on schedule, a furious shout was heard overhead, muffled only by distance and very thin walls.

"YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR THE BOA WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, RIN!" came the gruff voice of Haru's roommate, and Makoto and Haru looked at each other, a mutual understanding flowing between their eyes.

"So about that party, huh?" Makoto offered, taking a deep breath. Haru wasn't even going to try pulling the pool card on this one. They just needed to get out before Rin screeched his reply.

"Yeah," Haru muttered, heading outside. "Let's go."

And they fled, in the hopes of avoiding disaster number 31.

* * *

 _Lights pulsed, drinks sloshed, and the heavy bass vibrated through Haru's ribcage with every beat of the song. Silhouettes danced on walls as students danced on couches. Haru looked longingly at the door which would lead him to safety, and then back at Makoto's hand clutching his own._

" _Come on," came the musical voice, barely audible over the synthesizers. Neon lights flashed in emerald eyes. Makoto gave Haru's hand a tug._

" _Dance with me."_

" _It'll be fun."_

" _You have really lovely eyes."_

" _Come back to my apartment?"_

" _Are you sure?"_

" _ **God, yes."**_

* * *

 **I am so, so sorry. So sincerely, terribly sorry about my sucking as an author and neglecting this fic. Poor baby... *strokes laptop screen* BUT, I plan on making up for my commitment issues big time, and I have an actual, detailed, OUTLINED plan for the next two chapters. I am VERY excited for them.**

 **I also planted some things in here that I'm sure will inspire me later... *cough* Rei lives next door to Haru *cough* I wonder what I could do with that *cough* It's not like I made the walls thin or anything *cough cough cough***

 **Also, as this chapter was written over the course of two months, and I swore to myself that I would have it posted by the end of today if it killed me, it is not edited. MufasasPride did a lovely read-over, but really I only have 32 minutes until tomorrow and just... I WANTED TO GET CHAPTER THREE OUT TO YOU!**

 **Thank you for reading and suffering with me as I repeatedly fail as a human being. I will try my hardest to not let this happen again. T w T (Additionally obligatory s/o to MufasasPride who is a better human than I am and regularly updates her stuff. Go check it out homies)**


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